When you marry someone, you’re also committing yourself to their entire family. Conflicts around navigating these dynamics often come up in Facio’s practice, and she’s got her advice down to a fine science: “Keep the trash talk to a minimum,” she says, “[because] nothing separates a partnership faster than feeling like your spouse hates your family.” You should, however, keep a healthy distance as necessary. Facio elaborates, “[This] doesn’t mean you [can’t] have limited hang time with them and strong boundaries, but remember—they are still family, they made your partner, and they aren’t going anywhere.”

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